OUR GUARDIAN

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? 

WITNESS: No. 

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? 

WITNESS: No. 

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No. 

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? 

WITNESS: No. 

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? 

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? 

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. 

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.